Mama and Angel
by Nickel Chickadee
Summary: "Mama," he muttered, the name of the one he wanted to see most. But Mama was in heaven, which was a good place, so there wasn't any need to feel sad, he figured. "That's right, Jasper. Mama's right here, and she's going to take care of you," Maria whispered into Jasper's hair. To hell with the Volturi, he was hers, no one could change that.
1. Intro

**Hi all! This is my first Twilight fanfic. I've sort of lost interest in the LOTR world but I DO NOT ABANDON STARTED FICS. I assure you, I won't be able to sleep at night if I did abandon one. THEIR MY BABIES! :) :P. Anyway, this is the intro to my story. ****To those who know I exist and checked this out, THANK YOU. *bows as nicely as a crazy 7th grader can*. I worked hard on this fic and I feel more satisfied with the way it turned out compared to my others. Eew. :P**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, not me! **

**Ü Be Happy! Enjoy! ~Nickel Chickadee**

Maria snarled in fury. She had just finished burying the remains of her most recent meal when Nettie and Lucy had walked in on her, with a surprise. The instant they walked in, Maria could smell the human in their arms. Their eyes were both blood red, they were full.

"What is this?" she growled. She hated getting interrupted. She was the boss, wasn't she?

"This," Nettie began, gesturing to the human in Lucy's embrace, "Is a gift," she finished as Lucy threw the human down onto the ground in front of the three.

To Maria's surprise, it was just a child. He had honey blond hair and was peppered with bruises. He was trembling with fear as he raised his shaky gaze to meet Maria's horrified stare.

The moment their eyes met, Maria felt something different about the child. He was strong, stronger than other's his age. Not physically, maybe not mentally, but he was strong. Strong in a way that few would understand without experiencing what Maria had in that second when she had locked eyes with the human boy.

She slowly walked over, as so not to scare him, though she wondered why that mattered by then, and knelt down in front of him.

He was in pain, but he didn't let it show. This pleased Maria, and she felt a sudden wish to turn him at that moment. She wished this to be, and yet she knew that it was futile. The Volturi would have her head on a spit to be burned over a fire if she followed her heart.

"What is your name?" she asked with a soft tone full of authority.

"Jas –Ja–Jas–," he tried to speak through tears but he continued to stutter in fear of the beauty in front of him.

Maria smiled at him, whether an encouraging smile or a predatory smile, she did not know herself. Pushing these thoughts aside, she placed a cool hand on the boy's dirty, bloodied cheek.

Instantly, he calmed. His body stopped shaking, and he stopped crying.

"Curious, isn't he?" Nettie remarked, watching the whole ordeal. "He calms at our touch, though you would think that any other child would have reacted differently if they were held by their parent's killer,"

Maria ignored her big mouthed sister and returned her gaze to the boy. She sighed, he would have to go. There was nothing they could do about it.

She stood and retraced her steps. As she looked upon the boy's frail figure, she felt her stomach twist and her dead heart plummet. She didn't want to kill this boy. That was the last thing she wanted. Small, fragile, and alive as he was, she couldn't bring herself to kill him. She closed her eyes as a memory from her human life resurfaced. It was no specific memory, all she could remember was her little niece, four years old, dark haired and happy in her aunt's embrace.

"Jasper," Maria snapped out of her trance to focus her attention on her coven's young 'captive'.

"What did you say?" she asked, unsure if he had just spoken.

"Jasper is my name," he said slowly, repeating his first statement. He struggled to get up.

In that moment, all of the resistance within Maria dissolved and she appeared by his side at vampire speed. She lifted him up and into her lap.

Jasper winced as he felt his broken ribs being moved, but as Maria's floral scent filled his nose and her cool skin touched his, he melted away and relaxed in her embrace.

"Mama," he muttered, the name of the one he wanted to see most. But Mama was in heaven, which was a good place, so there wasn't any need to feel sad, he figured.

"That's right, Jasper. Mama's right here, and she's going to take care of you," Maria whispered into Jasper's hair. To hell with the Volturi, he was hers, no one could change that.


	2. Chapter 1: To keep you safe

Maria surveyed the dead battle field with a hawk's eye. Her newborns had fought well and they had won this land, for now at least. The entire plain was a golden color, though there weren't as many people living around the area, which explained why the fight for it was minor. Dead vampires from both sides lay in burning piles, scattered throughout the field. As she walked, she turned over a nearby newborn that Lucy had created, with her foot. It writhed and moaned in pain. Maria clicked her tongue in a tsk tsk manner and promptly crushed it's skull with her foot.

"Mama!" Her son's voice quickly brought her out of her daze as she watched the newborn's body erupt in flames.

Maria spun on heel, just in time to see a now eight year old Jasper throw himself at her. She easily caught him and laughed. Happiness always came easy when he was around.

Looking around he asked, "Why all the dead vampires?"

Maria gave him a tight smile. She had explained, long ago, about what she was and what vampires were. She had tried to get him to understand the reasons behind the wars she fought, but she had given up long ago, due to his endless questions.

She frowned and replied, "Don't you remember what I told you the other day?"

He looked up at her with a dazed expression. His answer was obvious, but he still said in his blunt manner, "No ma'am," he gave her a cheeky grin as she sighed in mock exasperation.

Kneeling down to meet his eye level she carefully restated her reasons for going to war, "Mommy fights to make sure that I can eat. If I eat, I can survive and I can keep you safe,"

Jasper blinked and cocked his head to one side. "So, Mama fights to make me safe?" he relayed.

Maria nodded. Her son's face broke out into a smile as he hugged her tightly. "Thank you Mama!" he cried before bounding across the field, probably off to bother Lucy or Nettie.

As she watched her son run straight into Nettie who lifted him into her arms, Maria thought back to all the times she had wondered whether to regret her decision or not. But now, looking back at the early days with Jasper, she realized that her dead life had become more fuller, more alive than before. He gave her turned her living dead into living. And showed her that her life had meaning. Her life meant so much more to her now that she knew that her angelito depended on her. If Jasper were to depart from her life, she would be less than she was when he found her, an empty shell.

She smiled as a flood of memories returned to her. Jasper finding pots and breaking them on Nettie's head to see if she could feel anything. Jasper, dragging Lucy along as they tried to cross a rapidly flowing lake, he would've drowned, if not for Lucy. And, Jasper with Maria. Sitting by the bonfire to stay warm, while dead newborns were piled into it. Jasper and Maria trying to name all the blades of grass when he woke from a bad dream. Jasper and Maria drawing pictures in the ashes of vampires. Jasper and Maria, together and happy, mama and angel.


	3. Chapter 2: Dressed for the occasion

**Hi all! *Waves chibi style* Kay, so I'm back with a chapter that is just for fluffiness. There'll be a few chapters of when Jasper is still young so that I can create/show the bond between Maria and Jasper. There are frequent newborns, but no real army, because Maria knows she can't control an army. So just a few newborns at a time. When Jasper grows up, you'll see less fluff, so enjoy it!**

**Note: Jasper and Maria are NOT going to become a couple. That would be just...eew. Also, Lucy is like Jasper's sister, while Nettie is kinda his aunt. **

The floorboards of the old wood plank house creaked under them as Maria buttoned up Jasper's small uniform. He fumbled with the collar a bit but stopped at a warning glance from Maria. Maria and her sisters had fed on the inhabitants of the small remote house they were in. Then, they had taken a small uniform for a little boy from one of the rooms and had come up with a plan.

Their list of newborns was growing thinner as the new year came round. The three sisters had decided to go scouting for more recruits in Galveston.

To blend in, Jasper had been forced to wear the uniform they had discovered. He deeply resented that fact.

"It's so itchy," he complained for the hundredth time.

Maria rolled her eyes. "We're going to Galveston no matter what you say, so it's either this or go with nothing,"

Jasper choked in surprise at the comment. Maria's eyes flickered to his face to make sure he was alright.

"It's your decision," she said, clearly amused as she began to unbutton some of the buttons she had just done.

"No! Wait, I mean, no, I'll wear it, I'll wear it," he gave in quickly at the thought of him striding butt naked into the most populated town in all of Texas.

"Are you sure?" she teased, reaching for his shirt collar again.

Grasping the cloth with a death grip that Maria swore could have killed a man, he nodded fiercely.

"I'm sure, Mama, I'm really sure," he said with such sincerity that Maria couldn't help but laugh.

At that moment, Lucy poked her head into the small room. "It's time to leave," she paused as she looked from her sister to her brother. "You look…exquisite," she finished, not succeeding in hiding her mirth as she exited.

Jasper pouted and stuck out his tongue at where she had just stood. Maria rolled her eyes and patted him on the head.

"Come along now, mi angelito," she called softly as she took his hand in hers and glided out the door with grace only gods could possibly posses.

**Short, I know. **

**Ü**

**Be Happy!**


	4. Chapter 3: Cuts and Bruises

**Hi all! So, another chapter, this one's the longest so far. Thank you to Teamwerewolf4eva, whose been following me from the start. It means a lot so thanks! I luv each and every person who reads this, like it hate it or don't mind it! Thx all!**

* * *

"Be careful!" Maria called after her son as he and Lucy ran around the field in front of them. While he was in town at Galveston a few months back, Jasper had learned about a human…celebration. It was called a picnic and since then, Jasper had been jumping at the slightest chance to go on this 'picnic'. It puzzled Maria and Nettie thought that it was a waste of time, but neither of them stood a chance when Jasper put on his angel face.

His eyes would widen and sparkle as he gazed at them in turn. His bottom lip would jut out just a smidge, giving off a pouting look. He would clasp his hands together as if in prayer and never leave his victim's side until he got what he wanted. How could anyone stand a chance against that?

So, of course, now Nettie and Maria were watching, entertained, as Jasper and Lucy circled each other around a large, lone tree's trunk.

"He's going to get himself hurt," Maria muttered to herself in worry. How could she not? Human life was very fragile, and fate was cruel to have her life so dependent and attached to one. But, Maria never complained.

Just as she finished her mindless concerns, she watched as Jasper, yards away, tripped over something and his full weight fell on his knee.

Before he could blink, his mother, aunt, and sister were by his side in a flash.

"Are you alright, angelito? Are you hurt?" Maria fussed. She clasped his head in her hands and looked into his eyes. The brown orbs were full of pain and wet with held back tears.

Looking down, Maria saw her son's two hands clutching his knee with a terrifying grip. She reached down to pry his hands off to asses the damage, and was surprised when her son struggled, keeping his hands on top of his injury.

"Let me see," she half requested half ordered. Jasper shook his head and remained stubborn. Seeing the fear in his eyes, Maria wondered, what had she done to scare him.

"Jasper," she said, lowering her voice into a more soothing tone. "I don't want to hurt you, angel. Mama's going to make you better,"

Jasper shook his head desperately. "No! You can't!" he cried, fresh new tears appearing at the corners of his eyes even as he fought to hold them back.

"Why not?" she asked, her voice rising naturally as her instinctive maternal worries came flooding back.

Jasper bit his lip and looked as if he were debating whether or not to tell her. After apparently deciding, he raised his gaze from the golden grass beside him to look at Maria. "You're…you're…," he tried, stumbling over his words as he attempted to find a nice way to put his thoughts into words.

"I'm what, angelito?" Maria pressed, patient and curious.

"You're hungry," he blurted out. The instant the words came out of his mouth, his hands flew to it, as if to shut himself up. When he did so, Maria saw. There was a huge purple bruise that covered his knee cap and though her parental instincts told her to take care of it, she couldn't help but stare at a small cut. It was less than the size of a paper cut, but there were two drops of blood flowing out of it. Two drops were two drops too much.

Her eyes widened and her mouth began to water. She cursed herself for trusting that she would be fine with not feeding for another day. She cursed herself again for her recklessness.

Looking around her, she could see Lucy and Nettie, who had retreated to a healthy distance a while back, were not reacting to the small drops of blood.

Her head swiveled back around to Jasper, whose tears had finally spilled over onto his cheeks, staining them.

"Mama, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he apologized, tears falling freely as he saw his mother's eyes turn black.

Maria felt her entire body twitch out of thirst, and her own breaths became pants. She closed her eyes and attempted in vain to calm her thirst.

Through her clenched teeth, she arched her back as if being tortured by Jane Volturi, and ground out two words. "Help. Me,"

Jasper looked from his suffering caretaker, then down back at his knee as a sudden, crazy idea entered his mind. Without thinking, he bent over and did something that neither could have anticipated.

He lapped up the blood on his swollen knee, wincing as the metallic taste filled his mouth. He knew what his mother was, he understood her thirst and her abilities. He didn't know if what he did would help, but the only thought running through his mind at that moment was _How does Mama drink this?_

Maria's head snapped back from her arched position to look at her son, all traces of blood, gone. What had happened? Slowly, her breathing evened out and she stopped shaking.

When she deemed herself calm enough, she looked up to see Jasper, his eyes full of fear. A feeling of dread overtook her. Was he afraid of her? Did he no longer love her? The very thought of that shattered Maria's heart.

She froze as he reached out to her with two hands. "Mama," he cried. Maria couldn't resist as she crawled over to him and gladly hugged him, so tightly she nearly broke his bones. But that was a might better than having the blood sucked out of him, she figured.

"I love you, Mama, I love you lots," he said through her hair as she held him in a tight embrace. They never took their time together for granted, and this event was just another reminder of how easily their time could be finished.

"I love you forever, angelito, I love you forever,"

* * *

**Ü**

**Be Safe around trains!**

**A message from Metro :) (Get it? Anybody?) *Cough, Cough, Dumb ways to Die***


	5. Chapter 4: Counting stars

**Hi all! This story's just the night of the day when Jasper fell. The title for that chapter said 'Cuts and Bruises' but it was more like 'Injury that you don't see when living with three vampires who have no doctoring skills'. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight universe, I only mess with it.**

* * *

"Wonder how many are up there?" Jasper asked as he looked up into the night sky. He was sitting on a log bench around a large bonfire, while his mother sat in front of him, working on his injured knee. It had only been that morning when the 'incident' had happened. Both hoped they would never come closer to losing each other again.

"What are you talking about?" Maria questioned as she changed the bandage keeping her son's leg in place. She was no doctor, and she didn't have a doctor in her army. Then again, there was no need for one. From her amateur knowledge, she had figured something had happened to Jasper's knee as her boy could not walk, stand, or even straighten his left leg since he had fallen.

"The stars," Jasper answered. Surprised, Maria momentarily looked up from her work.

"The stars?" she verified, not sure if she had heard correctly.

Jasper nodded. "They're so beautiful," he murmured dreamily.

Maria looked down at Jasper's knee. She sighed, she knew she couldn't do anything at the moment, but she couldn't sit still and worry. She was the leader of a vampire army. Sitting still and worrying was not her strong suit. Deciding that a distraction would be best, she raised her gaze to look at all the bright white stars that glowed in the dark night.

"I've never really noticed them," she admitted as she realized their beauty for the first time.

Jasper gave a small laugh, "Me neither. I usually just look at the fire,"

Maria grimaced. She still couldn't understand how Jasper was so comfortable around blood sucking vampires, so the fact that Jasper found happiness while sitting around a bonfire, kept alive by the burning bodies of executed newborns, puzzled Maria to no end.

"Mama?" Jasper asked, still looking up at the sky.

"Hmm?"

"Do they have names? Do they have a mama that loves them like I do?" he questioned.

Taken aback by the question, Maria sat in stunned silence, face turned up, looking at the twinkling lights. "I don't know," she answered truthfully.

"But I do know that there are many out there, and that the moon is their mama," she finished playfully.

Jasper's amber eyes widened. "Really? How many babies does Mama Moon have?" he wondered in childish amazement.

Maria laughed. "Why don't you count?" she suggested. _Oh, my little boy. _She thought as Jasper began to actually count. _My sweet, little, innocent, angelito. _

"7, 8, 9…," he stopped abruptly and looked to his mama with a devastated yet confused look on his face.

"What is it?" she asked, searching him for any signs of injuries.

"What comes after nine?" he question, completely confused.

Maria couldn't help it. She laughed, again. She laughed like a young school girl would. One hand over her mouth and the other clutching her side as she giggled. After calming, she was still panting from laughing when she replied. "It's ten, Jasper, ten, 1-0," she explained.

Jasper nodded and looked back to the lights of the sky. Pointing up at one of the, he counted, "Ten,"

As he passed through the fifty mark, he began to have trouble keeping track of the stars he had already counted, and barely being able to count didn't help. Seeing his confusion, Maria eventually found herself joining.

Twenty minutes later, Maria was on star number 657 when she felt Jasper's small blond head fall against her shoulder as he was claimed by sleep.

Knowing humans to easily feel the cold, she slowly raised herself up and took him into her arms. She carried him into the barn where their coven was staying, to see Nettie smirking, and Lucy smiling down at her sleeping little brother.

Maria set Jasper's small form into a small groove in the hay that seemed made for him. Careful not to bother his banged up knee she took a seat beside him, and stroked his hair, watching him sleep.

Soon after, she was joined by Lucy.

"He must be cold," she said as she sat down beside her sister and covered her brother with a thick blanket she had found in the storage of the barn. It was meant for one of the animals, but it was unused so she had taken it.

"You've raised him well," put in Nettie as she appeared beside the three of them.

Maria shook her head, not letting her gaze leave her son's face. "You and Lucy are the reason I have him today. If any one of us had killed then, we would have lost happiness before we could have ever obtained it,"

Nettie snorted. "Since when do you speak like the old wise man?"

The three smirked and rolled their eyes as silence settled in once more. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was a sweet silence. Quiet, stillness. None of the vampires moving an inch, except for Lucy, who was stroking Jasper's cheek. The only other movement were the deep breaths of the human boy in the hay and the soft, steady beats of his heart.

* * *

**Ü**

**Be Bold!**


	6. Chapter 5: What doesn't kill you

**Hi all! First of all THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES TO Teamwerewolf4eva and milefanis-cullen for following :). Y'all made my day! sorry it's short, but enjoy!**

The next morning, Jasper awoke to Lucy shaking him awake. Rubbing his eyes he asked sleepily, "Hmm? Lucy? What is it?" his words were slurred, but Lucy paid no mind.

"Jasper, your knee, Nettie needs to set it," she said slowly and cautiously, as if telling him something dangerous.

The honey blonde cocked his head to one side in confusion. "What does that mean?"

Lucy took a deep breath. "It means she's gonna force it back into it's old place,"

Jasper smiled, happy. "Well that's good. That way I'll get better, right?"

Lucy nodded, "Yes, but,"

"That's enough!" Nettie interrupted as she sped into the barn and appeared at Jasper's side.

Nodding at Maria, Nettie began to unroll the bandage that was keeping his leg in place.

Reluctantly, Maria took Jasper into her lap and held him in a way where he was completely immobilized.

Nettie exhaled deeply. "Okay, I'm doing this for your health Jasper, okay? She notified Jasper, whose fear was growing with all the precautions.

She rubbed her hands together briefly, before pushing up her sleeves and grasping her nephew's knee.

Jasper gasped in pain and his face scrunched as he tried to fight the oncoming tears. He struggled in his mother's grip, but he didn't stand a chance.

"Shh…shh…, it's all right, angelito, it's all right," Maria whispered into his ear to try and soothe him, but nothing could prepare him when Nettie forced his kneecap back into position without warning.

Jasper howled as pain shot through his leg. Tears fell freely from his eyes. In all his time living with Maria's coven, he had never felt a pain like this. It hurt beyond compare. For a split second, he would have rather kept his knee out of place then live through the ordeal.

It broke Maria's heart to hear her baby scream like only humans did when she and her sisters fed. The scream scared her to no end and she was once again reminded of how Jasper would one day die, or be changed.

She hugged him as if she would never see him again. "I'm sorry, angel, I'm sorry mi angelito," she whispered through Jasper's sobs.

Eventually, Jasper began to relax. Nettie and Lucy slowly inched their way over to mother and son and put their arms around their little boy.

"I'm sorry Jasper, it's all right, everything's better now," Nettie shushed as they tried to stop his tears.

"No more pain, no more," Lucy promised as she drew him in for a hug.

Jasper shuddered as he leaned against his mother for support. His tears had dried on his face and he had finally calmed down. From his breathing, they could tell he was no longer hyperventilating.

"Mama…why did auntie do that?" he asked, his voice still a bit choked up from crying.

"Oh angelito, she did it to make you better. Now, when you're done resting you can go running again," she replied with a hushed tone.

Jasper nodded and he looked to his aunt. "Thank you, Net-tie," he thanked with a small smile that they could tell didn't exactly belong, but he meant all the same.

Leaning against his mother again he cried, "Mama, it hurts. It hurts bad,"

Maria held him even closer and shushed him, "I know, I know, but angel? There's a good side to all this,"

"What's that?" he wondered, peering up at her with brown orbs full of genuine confusion. What good came out of all this pain?

"Not only do you get to keep running, what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger," she said, reciting an old saying her old mentor, Benito, had spoken to her.

It was as if the sky were clearing on a stormy day. Jasper's face betrayed his awe and surprise. "Rea…really?" he said, disbelieving. He looked over to Nettie, who was smiling, and back over to Lucy.

She nodded, "It's true. Now you're stronger than all of that pain," she confirmed, placing a hand over the tender spot on his leg, "See?" she said when he didn't flinch away.

"No pain," Jasper replied with a bright smile on his face.

"No pain," Lucy nodded in response. "Because big boy Jasper's stronger than all of that now,"

Jasper giggled and bounced in his mother's lap. "I'm strong!" he cried waving his fists in the air.

Maria bobbed her head in agreement. "Yes, you are,"

**Ü**

**Be Strong**


	7. Chapter 6: Never grow up

**Hi all! So sorry for the late update, I didn't feel really good about the chapter you're about to read so I edited it a lot. Thank you to Yuriko-Rurinia for following this story! R&R, thanks very much. Enjoy!**

Maria was pacing in a lavishly decorated room. She, Nettie, and Lucy had fed off of the inhabitants of the home. Not too long ago, Jasper had wandered off, going to explore their new home's grounds, but night had fallen, and Maria's fear was growing.

Her relief was staggering when she heard Jasper's clumsy steps from afar. She sped out the door and saw him at the far end of a field, waving a huge flower, he got from god knew where, above his head as he jumped around in the high grass.

"Jasper!" she called to him. He turned, and noticed her for the first time.

"Mama!" he cried happily as he made his way over to her, stumbling a bit. At one point he nearly tripped over something, but before he hit the ground, Maria was beside him, steadying him.

"Angel, you're filthy," she commented with an exasperate yet amused tone.

Jasper didn't seem concerned though. He was rarely bothered by his physical attire. He was a young boy with no rules, no education, no boundaries. He was just young and free of worries…for now.

Scooping up her dirty boy, she ran at vampire speed to the edge of a lake that was nearby.

"Come on, let's get you clean," she said as she began to tug him near the shore water.

Looking into the dark, cold water, Jasper felt his fear rising and shook his head. "I don't want to," he protested.

Maria sighed. She knew this would happen. "You leave me no choice, angelito. Come quickly, or I'll drag you in. Either way, you are not leaving here dirty as you are," she said with a tone of authority.

"Mama–," he was cut off in mid protest when she lifted him into her arms and began to walk into the water.

He shrieked when his skin touched the water. "Cold! Mama! It's cold!" he half whined half shrieked.

Maria ignored him and slowly set him down in the middle of the lake. His feet couldn't reach the bottom, so she kept a tight grasp on him as she pulled off the dirty tatters he called clothes, and dunked him in.

When she pulled him out of the cold water, he was sputtering and shot his mother a death glare.

"Mama!" he cried, crossing his arms with a little difficulty as Maria was holding him under his arms.

His lips had turned blue and his cheeks red, but Maria could see that he wasn't feeling cold anymore as he began splashing around happily, while she tried to clean him.

She took one pale arm in her two hands and scrubbed it clean with a rag she had found from inside the home. As she started on his other arm, she noticed him kicking and pausing, kicking and pausing.

"They're so pretty!" he commented excitedly.

Maria took a brief moment to turn from her work and look at the v-lined splashes he was creating in the water.

"They _are_ pretty, Jasper," she said, smiling at Jasper. It was something that never ceased to amaze her. Jasper's gift. It was a small gift, but it had tremendous effect. Out in the wild with only three other female vampires, with the occasional newborn, he found beauty and happiness in everything. Whether he were looking up at the stars, or at the many blades of grass as he lay in them, he always found it beautiful. Nettie, Lucy, and Maria's lives depended on him and he on them. When he was happy, they were happy. When they were happy, he was happy. It was a beautiful circle.

Smiling as she came back to the present, she held Jasper's head in her two cold hands. He looked up at her with brown eyes and she looked back at him with red ones.

A moment of silence passed between the two, as they listened to the sounds of faraway crickets and the splashes of water, before both seemed to snap out of the mood. Maria pulled out the strip of cloth and began to wipe his face clean.

Spitting and squirming, he tried bat her away. "Mama! I'm clean, I'm clean," he grumbled, but the moment he twisted out of his mother's grip, he sank to the bottom of the lake.

Alarmed, Maria grabbed his arms and yanked him up out of the water, gasping.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt? Are you okay? Jasper? Angel? Jasper?" she checked him all over for any sorts of injuries and didn't stop until she was satisfied.

Jasper coughed up some water as Maria patted him on the back. "'m fine," he assured, but he didn't let go of his grip on Maria. "Wonder if there's any fishies living in the water. Do you think they're wondering what I'm doing in their pond?" he mused, peering curiously at the water.

Holding her son tight, she could barely form words through her relief. "Never grow up angelito, never grow up," she whispered.

Jasper had no words for his mother, but simply accepted the hug. His mind was conflicted on whether or not fish ate meat, but he caught his mothers words and decided that he had no intention to grow up. None at all.

**Ü**

**Be Free**


	8. Chapter 7: All grown up

**Hi all. I'm back. Second worst day of my life just passed me by. Yeesh. But something good happened! MW3addict reviewed my story. FIRST REVIEW WAS BY MW3addict ! I LOVE YOU. Silent boy OMG! *cough, cough, regains posture and strokes invisible mustache* 'Kay, this chapters a little, maybe more, cheesy. Sorry! **

**Note: As I might've stated before, Maria and JAsper are mother and son. No plans for them to 'fall in love'. **

**Note: Maria's all loveable and Jasper's all forgiving for now...but what'll happen when Maria gets powerhungry and Jasper gets stressed from his gift, cuz I mean imagine feeling everyone else's emotions. God. Anyway, just warning y'all.**

Chapter 7 All grown up

Maria surveyed the land around her. The sky had darkened and it was cloudy. A storm was coming, and here she was, the perfect spot to get soaked, standing on a wood porch. She needed to feed, but there were no humans for miles, well except her son. She smiled and rubbed the back of her neck subconsciously as she thought of her grown up son.

He was a young man now, no longer the carefree little boy she used to love and fear at the same time. Now he was a sturdy, strong, responsible man. And a man like him, didn't always need a mother to baby him. He wanted to stand on his own now, and Maria knew she was having trouble letting him go.

"Mama?" Maria turned and found herself looking into her grown up son's eyes. She loved his eyes. His soft brown eyes were the one thing that didn't change as he had changed from her little boy to little man. They remained wide, innocent, and caring, and she loved that. Over the years, he had begun to call her Maria, and the same to Nettie and Lucy.

"You haven't called me that for a long time," she smirked, turning to face him.

He didn't answer but instead put his two arms on her shoulders and stared into her eyes.

Maria held his gaze steadily. He was taller than her now, and she had to look upward. "You're so distant now," she remarked.

He lowered his eyes to the floor as if upset at that fact. "'m sorry, ma'am,"

Overwhelmed with sudden emotions, Maria, who would've cried if she could, enveloped him in a tight hug.

Jasper was surprised, but he wrapped his strong arms around her and hugged back. "Mama?" he asked, uncertain about how Maria was feeling.

"I'm sorry Jasper. It's just it feels as if time has been moving against me. I could've sworn that it was only yesterday when I dropped you in a freezing cold lake," as she spoke her voice began to get a little choked up, but she paid no mind. "You've grown up, my little angelito, all grown up. I've been just taking things as they were, but now I've stepped back to look at my life, and I feel that you've become someone new,"

Jasper nearly cried when he heard Maria's words. That morning, the two of them had had a very major fight, and it had been very nasty.

In the end, Maria had nearly smashed his skull, but after regaining herself, she had run out, and not been seen for a while.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"For what?"

"For everything I said to you," he clarified. He felt Maria stiffen at the mention of their most recent fight. "For saying that we wouldn't have to fight if you had killed me all those years ago,"

Maria drew back and peered into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he apologized another time. This time Maria shook her head.

"No Jasper, you are my son, and I will always love you as my son," taking his warm hands into her cold ones, she continued. "There will never come a day when I regret that decision, never," she swore.

Jasper swallowed. He could feel tears rising, and he cursed inwardly. They fell like the first drops of rain before a storm.

"I –I just–," he tried, but was cut off by another hug from Maria.

"Hush now, mi angelito, hush. It's all right, it's all right. Don't cry, don't cry, baby, Mama's here, and I always will be," she comforted, patting his back and hushing him.

They stayed like that for a while. Maria's soft words of a mother comforting her child as Jasper's flood of emotions spilled out and his tears wet her shoulder. Only after rain began to fall heavily and drench the pair, did they part.

Maria kept her arms around her little man's neck and he kept his around his mama's waist. Neither wanted to let go. Thanks to the rain, only Jasper's red cheeks gave away the fact he'd been crying. Sobbing more like.

Wiping away the raindrops rolling off his face with her thumb, Maria gestured to her own face that was soaked with raindrops, and said, "Look, now we're both crying,"

Jasper couldn't help but grin at his mother's somewhat childish humor. "Thank you, Maria," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Anything for my little man. My grown up little man," she returned warmly.

**Ü**

**Forgive the cheesiness...plz. *wince* **

**Ü**

**Be Extra happy because MW3addict reviewed my story. With happiness. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!**

**DREAMS DO COME TRU. HAVE HOPE. **


	9. Chapter 8: Accident

**Hi all! I'm back. This chapter marks the beginning of Jasper's mental journey as he becomes who he was meant to become. Thanks a million to MyZebraWillEatYou and MeineqaX. You guys are the bestest in the world! Anyway here's the next chapter, sorry if it's short. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

It was 1863, Maria was walking with her coven along a long dirt road, waiting for any unsuspecting humans to pass by and become their next meal. To her left was Lucy and Nettie, and to her right was Jasper.

The smell of human blood filled the three women's noses. They twisted around to look behind them, where they saw about four men, soldiers in the confederate army, riding their large, strong horses, and charging fast.

Maria, Nettie, and Lucy lunged at three of the riders' necks, as Jasper tackled another, right off his seat. He usually helped in the hunts, catching and killing men, women, and children alike for his coven mates to feed on. Jasper and the man were rolling on the dirt road, but neither seemed to care. Jasper wrapped his two strong hands around the man's neck to break his neck, but failed notice the riders' horse.

It neighed and bucked, kicking at it's rider's attacker. Jasper rolled off the man and onto his back, but failed to see a second brown stallion, hooves raised in the air, coming back down to Earth.

Pain filled Jasper as the horse's hooves came crashing down on his ribs with a sickening crunching sound.

Maria's head snapped up, and her teeth came out of another man's neck as she looked for her son. When she saw that he was on the ground she rushed over to his side.

His expression held nothing but pain, but it was fading as she held his face in her hands and looked into his eyes.

"Jasper? Jasper? Speak to me, speak to me!" she cried desperately. She could see the light in his eyes fading and although she was no doctor, she knew her son was dying.

Maria looked over to Nettie and Lucy, both of whom were too busy with their meals to notice Jasper.

"Jasper, angel, you've gotta look at me, don't go, don't you dare go away from me," she pleaded, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, even as she felt the life fading from his grip.

His eyes found hers and he let out a small choked cry. "Mama, I…," His words were cut off as he choked on the blood that had begun to poor out of his mouth.

Maria could feel his skin begin to feel clammy in her hands and his eyes began to unfocus.

"No! You can't leave! You can't!" she all but screamed. He was her son! She needed him, and so did Nettie and Lucy. They would be reduced to nothing if he died. There was only one thing she could do. She knew that it was the only way she could save him, but she didn't trust herself to stop once she'd started.

Closing her eyes, she leaned down, prayed for the best, and bit her son's neck. Jasper's eyes flew open as she began to inject poison and suck the blood out of him. He screamed and thrashed but was no use against Maria's vampire strength. His screams drew the attention of his aunt and sister who looked on in shock at what was happening.

Maria was getting dizzy. Jasper's blood…it was so good. It was delicious, and addicting. She couldn't stop. His blood appealed to her so much. After all the long years she had worked hard not to give in, she was now finally tasting his blood, and she didn't want to stop. She didn't seem to notice she was killing him. _He's dying!_ She realized and grimaced. She wanted to pull back, she _needed _to pull back and stay strong. For her son.

To her greatest relief, to pairs of cold hands grabbed each of her shoulders and yanked her back. Jasper's scream was bone chilling as a piece of his neck came with Maria's teeth.

If she could've cried, she would be a sobbing mess, she knew as she helplessly watched her son writhing in pain on the side of the dirt road. Pain that she had put him in.

When he shrieked for the sixth time, Maria felt her legs getting weak and she collapsed against Nettie. She knew that if Jasper didn't make it because of her inability to stop, her lack of control, then she would never forgive herself.

**Ü**

**Have control**

**IDK, ran out of ideas for Ü farewell.**


	10. Chapter 9: Tea time with the Devil

**Hi all! Yup, two chapters in one shot. Y? Two reasons, one I got two new followers that I thanked in the previous chapter. Two, this one's kinda short. But I like it. Anyway, thanks for reading! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Wah :'(**

Jasper screamed, whether out loud or mentally, he didn't know. He couldn't care less. There was a white hot pain, shooting throughout his entire body. It coursed through his veins and burned him up from the inside. He couldn't see anything but darkness and red. Was he dead? Was he in hell? If that was true, what had he done? The fire in his throat flared and he cried out. He was upset at himself for being weak, but called out none the less. He shouted Maria's name, he yelled for Nettie, begged for Lucy. He wanted his mother to come and help him out of the pain. For her to say that everything was all right, that he would become stronger. But there was no end to it all.

Whenever he felt as if the pain had died down and it was almost over, it fired back up again and sent him into an agony worse than before. He had never experienced such a feeling, of hopelessness, and of sheer, blinding, burning, pain. He was spiraling again as needles jabbed his sides and fires burned his skin.

What he would give to end the pain. What he would do to stop it all.

He thrashed again, trying to find a way out, but to no avail. Would there be no end? Is that what hell was?

He screamed Maria's name one final time before something unfathomable happened. He heard Maria's voice, it was calling him. It was distant, but it had tremendous effect. Angelito…angelito…Jasper…over and over again. Telling him to stay strong. Then, it was as if he had been dunked in a freezing lake all over again. The fires in his veins went out, and slowly the thorns in his side had retracted. He felt cool hands running over his arms and he opened his eyes for the first time in forever.

**Ü**

**Welcome new beginnings**


	11. Chapter 10: Waking up

**Hi all! Okay, so I REALLY hated this chapter but I decided to put it up anyway, just so I can move on from this...mess. ANyway I hope you enjoy nonetheless, and this is basically the start of Jasper's stress and Maria's greed growing. Don't expect all that much fluff from now on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

The air was cool and all was silent for a single moment as bright red eyes focused on crimson eyes.

Maria felt herself shaking as the two red eyes, that were having trouble focusing, moved to match her stare. She froze up, suddenly at a loss. She had created many newborns before, but this was not any old human turned vampire. This was her son.

"Angelito?" she whispered, reaching out to touch his face. His head swiveled around to glare at her, and she felt her breath catch in her throat under the red hot glare. He was terrifying, but she didn't falter. Jasper's brows furrowed in confusion but his glare softened when he recognized the woman before him.

"Maria?" he called. Instead of his voice being hoarse as he had expected, it came out musical and enchanting as his mother's did.

Maria gave him a small smile. "Jasper?" she replied.

They stared at each other for a moment. A moment of tense silence that Maria connected back to many memories. Swallowing, she gathered her courage and leaned forward, arms outstretched as he bolted upright.

He growled uncontrollably at the invasion of private space.

"It's alright, I won't hurt you," she soothed as she felt him grow rigid. She then slowly encased him a soft yet gentle hug. The simple act expressed a flood of emotions she had no words for.

Melting away as memories hit him, Jasper hugged back with his newborn strength.

Maria gasped as she was crushed in a hug but smiled nonetheless. Her son was back, she repeated in her mind, _and he's much stronger. _Jasper is crushing _me, _she thought with a smile.

At that moment, Jasper's head snapped up as Nettie and Lucy appeared in the door way of the barn they had stolen. Nettie had been the one to move him to the old barn, just as they had when he had fallen asleep on a dislocated knee.

Nettie looked wary, concerned, and unsure of what to do. She had not known what to expect when he gazed at her with his blood red eyes.

"Jasper," she called, reaching out at him with two arms, but not making a move towards her nephew.

Jasper looked her up and down in jerky, uneven, newborn fashion. Meeting her eyes, she could see recognition flare in them as he sped across the space between them and nearly crushed her in a bear hug as well.

"Mm! Newborn crushing me!" she managed to get out before she could be squashed into nothing.

Jasper immediately drew back, unsure if he had hurt her. He didn't say anything, the fire in his throat growing again, but his gaze let his aunt know that he was concerned.

"I'm alright," she promised, before gliding out of his peripheral vision, over to an on looking Maria.

"Look at you, Jasper. Not so breakable now," Lucy remarked in a soft voice as she beheld her little brother.

This time, Jasper held out his arms for a hug as Lucy threw herself into his embrace.

"We almost lost you," she cried without tears, letting down her barrier of emotions she usually kept up.

Jasper nodded, saying nothing once more, and hugged her back, now that he had gotten the hang of hugging without crushing.

"We missed you," Nettie informed, hands on hips and a smirk on her lips.

Their newborn re

leased Lucy and turned to face his family.

Maria laughed at Nettie before returning her attention to Jasper. It felt so good to laugh. She hadn't done anything but worry since he had gone under. Now he was with her, and on his way to redeem his old self.

"Come on now, angelito. You need to hunt,"

**Ü**

**Be Awesome**


	12. Chapter 11: Getting up again

**Hi all! It's Tuesday and I've finished HW, so here you are! You guys are awesome! Reviews are welcomed with open arms.**

**Btw, I have all extra curricular activities on Wednesday so I have more writing time on other days, but a bad thing about that is I don't usually have time on Wednesdays to upload chapters, but I try. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does. **

It was like a dream come true. As Jasper ran through the long plateau, he turned and saw Maria, Nettie, and Lucy, all struggling to keep up with his speed. Even for a newborn, he was fast. With his thirst driving him, it was likely he could be the fastest vampire in the world at that moment. He ran fast and far until he picked up a scent. He stopped abruptly in his tracks as the most intoxicating, enchanting scent filled his nose and overpowered his mind. He turned his head and realized exactly how far he could see. He saw off in the distance, a small home. In it were at least five inhabitants. Jasper took off.

He sped over as fast as he could and appeared in front of the house in mere seconds. He kicked down the door effortlessly and sped into the kitchen where his first victim awaited.

The little blonde girl screamed in terror as the wild young man entered her home. She dropped the plate she had been about to set on the table, and it shattered into a million pieces on the floor.

She opened her mouth to scream for help, but no sound came out of her mouth before Jasper had grabbed her like a doll and sunk his teeth into her neck.

Outside, Maria, Nettie, and Lucy had just arrived. He paid no mind as they entered and screams down the hallway were heard as they took their feed.

When he set the girl down, there was no blood in her body, and she was chalk white. Her look of shock etched on her face as he turned from the kitchen and hunted for his next victim.

The father of the house, came bursting out of his room, gun raised high. He cocked it and the shot hit Jasper in the stomach. It singed a hole in the newborn's shirt, but otherwise bounced off harmlessly.

Looking up from the ground where the bullet lay, Jasper felt a smile creep up on his face. He was invincible. The man felt fear like none before when Jasper grabbed him.

Strangely, Jasper felt the same despair in his gut that was instantly cut off when he bit the man's neck, continuing his meal. Even as he stared down at the man's broken body, he could still remember the blood chilling, gut wrenching fear he had felt while killing him. What was that? He bit his lip to keep from crying out as a wave of guilt crashed down on him.

A few minutes later, he reunited with his coven mates.

"You did well for a newborn Jasper," complimented Nettie. "Though I had personally wanted the father for myself,"

Lucy laughed, "Ignore her, Jasper, she's being jealous,"

Jasper frowned. "Jealous? Why?" He turned his questioning eyes to his mother. She always knew what to do.

Maria gave him a warm smile. "It's just, we've never seen any vampire move that fast before. You're _very _special, mi angelito,"

With that, the four turned out of the house and burned it to the ground.

**Ü**

**Spread your wings and fly ;) **


	13. Chapter 12: You're gifted

**Hi all! I'm back. Jasper can feel his abilities kicking in! ^.^ Tanks to my two new followers. Kissies! So yah, please review and Njoy**

It had been almost three weeks since Jasper had been changed, and Maria's concern for him was growing. Each day, he looked more like the living dead. After every hunt, he would exit the home of their meal, with dead eyes, no longer happy and vibrant as she had known. He seemed hollow, as if turning into a vampire, had killed the boy inside whom Maria had grown to love. Finally, she found her chance to ask him about his worsening condition.

"Jasper?" she asked as she entered the room he was in. It was a wood shed, dark, except for slivers of light spilling in through the cracks of the wood planks. Against one of the walls, there was a dusty, flat, chest of some sort. Jasper was sitting on it, leaning against the wall, facing the roof with his eyes closed. A very curious position for a vampire.

"Jasper, angel, I need to talk to you," she repeated. Jasper didn't move a muscle, her sugary words not affecting him in the slightest. No words could penetrate his mind, he figured.

She ignored this and appeared by his side, sitting on the dusty chest as well. She took one of his hands, which rested on his lap, into her two hands.

As she beheld the porcelain white skin, unmarked by any means, she murmured. "You haven't been hunting in a while. We're leaving soon, to hunt,"

Jasper's eyes shot open and he sprang upright on the chest. He looked alarmed for a split second but was back to calm as fast as he had panicked. "I'll pass, ma'am," he replied, not meeting her eyes.

Growing impatient at her son's hesitation, she put her two cold hands on Jasper's face and forced him to look at her.

"You're eyes are black. You _need _to hunt," She stated coldly, as if daring him to argue. He frowned and shook her off, quickly averting his eyes. What was wrong with him?

In a much more softer tone, her mother tone, she reached out to stroke her son's head.

"Jasper, won't you tell…me what's wrong?" she hesitated, unsure of what he wanted to call her.

For the first time, he willingly turned his head to match her gaze. His eyes were jet black. If a human had walked in at that moment, they would be dead before they knew anyone was even inside the dirty old shed.

"I…can't hunt," he ground out through teeth clenched as if in pain.

Maria cocked her head to one side. "What do you mean?" Her son was a great hunter, one of the best of their kind. What was he going on about now?

"Maria, I…when I kill them, I feel them. Their emotions. I don't know what they're thinking, but I know what they're feeling. They're pain, fear, anger, confusion, it's like the more I feed, the more the guilt eats me up inside," he confessed in a sorrowful tone. He would be crying if he wasn't vampire, he knew that for sure.

Maria was stunned silent. He could feel their emotions? She could guess what her victims would be feeling at the time of their death, and yet, she had never _felt _their emotions as Jasper had so vividly described.

They sat in silence for a while. Neither moving, while their thoughts grew abundant. Jasper could feel concern for his condition and what he had become growing. It tightened in his chest and he found guilt so overwhelming that he had to fight for consciousness.

To his surprise, Maria, who had been curious about something a moment before, was also panicking. Why was she feeling that way too? _Was it something I did? _Jasper wondered. If that was the case, he didn't want his mother to be in pain because of his actions. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down.

Immediately, his mother calmed down beside him. Attention perked he decided to experiment. He thought back to the first time he had hunted. The young blond child's fear, her terror at the sight of him had only increased when he had approached, taken her head into his hands and–

"Stop!" Maria shrieked, her hands clutching her own head. She was sobbing, though without tears. "Stop, stop, just stop that," she cried, still shaking from the terror she had felt. One moment, she had been calming down, then the next, it was as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown at her. Pure terror that she had never experienced had ripped through her soulless mind.

"Maria!" Jasper's eyes widened at his mother's state. What was wrong? He tenderly took her into his embrace and stroked her head the way she had when he was a little boy. It had always made him feel better. He smiled as he remembered back to when he run into a group of boys his age out in the wild. They had taunted him for his differences, and he had run off to Maria. She had held him, then. Simply holding and stroking his honey blond hair, whispering soothing words to calm his sobs.

"Maria, are you all right?" he asked as she began to calm down.

Straightening, she looked up at her son. "Jasper," she whispered, her lower lip trembling and her brow furrowing.

"You're gifted," she stated. Time seemed to freeze in the room. No sound came from either as the two words sank in.

"I'm…gifted? What does that mean?" he had never heard the term before and was very confused.

Maria gave him a weak smile, mind still strained after the mental obstacles he had put her through. Nonetheless, she patiently explained the term to her son. "Well, out of all the vampires in the world, some have 'gifts'. These are special abilities the vampires are born with when they are created. The gift's are unique to themselves and can be very powerful," she said.

Jasper frowned, "What does that mean for me?" he asked, still unsure of why she had brought it up.

Maria smiled and reached out touch his cheek. Almost immediately, he felt a wave of emotions so strong he jerked away from her touch. He felt hurt radiating from her, and felt guilty.

His mother shook her head, "It's all right Jasper. It's more than all right, it's amazing. You, you can influence emotions and can feel everyone's emotions as well," she breathed.

"Truly amazing, mi angelito, truly amazing," Jasper's frown slowly receded and he managed to calm down. He leaned his back against the wood plank wall and looked straight ahead. He was gifted. That was good…right?

**Ü**

**Love chocolate!**


	14. Chapter 13: Creating an army

**Hi all! 'Kay so new chapter! Yay! I hope you don't think Jasper is too OOC, but then again, it is a fanfic. Anyway, I love reviews, they are welcomed, every bit of support makes the sun shine so much brighter in my dark world. Sorry if that depresses you, I've had a bad day, and I have to go somewhere tomorrow, but it shouldn't be that long, so I'll still get another chapter in tomorrow! NJOY!**

Jasper was sitting alone once again, thinking. His mother had just told him that she was creating a newborn army. She had done so before, when he was very little, saying that it was to protect him. That was correct, in a way, as if she fed, he wouldn't be tempting. But now, he was a vampire, same as she was. Cold, dead, and soulless. Now she had no excuse to disguise her greed. Jasper could barely believe that his caring mother was a greedy, power hungry vampire, but he knew that he couldn't change anything to stop her. There was nothing for a lone vampire except death. Especially a vampire who only hunted at the most dire situation.

She had explained that with his gift, their coven could finally be able to handle a grand newborn army. She fantasized to him on how great they would be while Jasper had slowly shrunk out of the room.

He didn't like feeling that he was being used, but he knew that was the case. Nonetheless, he argued with himself about it, trying to find benefits for him from the newborn army.

Another piercing scream was heard throughout the little farm their coven had stolen. Maria, Nettie and Lucy had turned yet another newborn vampire. Jasper winced as not only did the loud shrill sound hurt his ears, but he was also overcome with the soon to be newborn's emotions.

They were in pain. Such great pain. It hurt Jasper just to think of it. He knew exactly how they felt, and still he could do nothing. His teachings and morals told him to go and put the poor boy out of his misery, while his instincts told him to stay away and mind his own business. He sent calming waves to the source of the noise, praying the boy would calm his own emotions.

Suddenly, Nettie appeared at the door, her mouth painted in blood. Jasper's head snapped up to meet her stare, but looked away after seeing they were bright red. She smiled upon seeing Jasper.

"Well, this is where you've been hiding," she said in a teasing voice.

Jasper nodded without looking to her. "What do you need?" he barely moved. One leg drawn up to his chest, his arms resting on it, while the other leg was sitting on the attic floor, straight and unmoving.

Nettie cocked her head to the side, and Jasper felt her playful emotions taking their toll on him.

"Come on, I've already changed six newborns today, and that's not even close to what Maria got," she said with a sly look on her face.

Jasper winced. There it was again. Maria. Since his change, they had become more distant than ever. Then again, Jasper had grown distant with everyone, keeping to himself always, like an empty shell.

Knowing from past experience that Nettie would not back down until he changed at least one human, he slowly got up, but then bolted out the door so fast, Nettie couldn't see him.

As Jasper sped through the small home, he stopped in a hallway, right in front of a large window with a view of the yard. He could see in the backyard, where there were at least three more humans. Their fear was sharp, like needles poking their way through his skin. He wanted to scream and run as far away from the fear as possible, but that was futile.

No matter where he went, fear always followed him, surrounded him, suffocated him. There was absolutely no escape. Feeling emptiness like never before, Jasper collapsed on the floor and against a wall as despair settled on him.

There _was _no escape. There would never be so long as he lived. A gift? His so called gift was a curse. A curse that bound him to his life, bound him to the despair he was forced to live through day by day, knowing it would never end.

At that moment, Jasper would have wanted nothing more than to die. Nettie could be heard slowly coming down the stairs, but Jasper didn't move an inch. He didn't care. He just wanted it all to end. The pain, the sadness, the fear. He wanted it to stop.

Nettie stopped in front of him and sighed. Shaking her head, she tsked at her nephew. "You can do better than that can't you, nephew?" she rebuked in a tone that betrayed her delight in his failure. Though her features remained solemn, even a fool would know she was more than a tad bit amused.

Jasper nodded automatically. He could do anything, physically, but mentally, he was on the verge of death.

"Good," Nettie answered. "Because we're all expecting you to," with that, she as off, and in a few moments, Jasper could feel one of the humans fade away in his heart. Another human dead, another vampire born. Another soulful, joyous, living, breathing human to another undead, soulless, miserable monster, bound to a life of misery before he was killed.

After nearly an hour of brooding and fighting for composure, Jasper forced himself to get up. Every step he took was reluctant, every useless breath drawn a curse. He stopped as he came into view of the last remaining human, lying on the grassy ground and squinting under the sun.

It was a young boy. His build was sturdy and there was determination mixed with fear in his eyes. He could feel the boy's surprise as his skin began to sparkle the moment he stepped out of the house. Jasper couldn't stand it as he gave in to the rage he had felt.

Instead of turning the boy, he ripped him apart, taking out all of his anger. He was angry at the fact he had been turned against his will, he was furious about the fact he couldn't wither away and die, he was livid about the fact that his coven was creating an army, raging about his mother giving into greed, but he was infuriated about the fact that he had a gift.

Snarling, he ripped the screaming human to shreds, ignoring the emotions of surprise and amusement coming from Maria and Lucy. This boy's death would be better than his life as a vampire, Jasper figured.

When the last shreds of the boys had been ripped to pieces, Jasper spun on heel and glared at Maria. "Don't ask me to create your army for you," he growled. With that, he sped off back into the house, his mind a mess of emotion.

**Ü**

**Love your life despite this angsty chapter! ;)**


	15. Chapter 14: Training the army

**Hi all! Giggles, here's a new chapter. Reviews are welcomed. NJOY! **

Jasper found himself pacing on a field, in front of the 'army' Maria had presented to him. He was to train them, to teach them how to fight. But the newborns were rash and foolish, which made Jasper's job rather hard.

"Michael! James!" He barked at two unsuspecting newborns. Michael was very strong and had a large build, while James was thin and small. A couple on lookers sniggered at the sparring pair, knowing exactly who was going to win.

As soon as the mock battle had started, it was almost over. Michael had grabbed James by the head and slammed him down on the ground below them.

Jasper shook his head. James was too weak. He would never make it. Jasper's only choice was to put him in the front of the battle and pray he would be killed before causing any damage.

He winced at his own thoughts. He hated having to think that way, but this was his life now, he had decided. It was time to get used to the changes.

"Mary, Joseph!" he shouted. Two vampires stepped forth. Joseph was very strong despite his small frame, but Mary was so fast and agile, she once beat even Michael.

Mary took her position, and made a step to lunge at Joseph, but not before the intoxicating smell of human blood reached the newborn army's nose.

Jasper's head snapped up and he frantically tried to calm them, but that couldn't stop them as the sped over to the source. A picnicking family nearly 30 miles away.

Jasper swore using the vilest words he could think of, knowing what was about to happen. There was nothing he could do; the newborns were already upon them.

He started trembling, before crumpling to the ground, shaking. He covered his ears with his hands, trying to block out the human family's cries. The fear they felt was shooting through him and his vision started to fade away. Was he dying? Finally, was he dying? No, he was not.

"Jasper!" Maria's cry brought her son out of his reverie. He didn't know how many hours had passed since the incident, but it was dark out. He shot upright and looked to Maria sitting before him.

"What happened?" he asked, barely moving his lips.

"You, just shut down, I didn't know that was possible for a vampire, but you did," she explained with some difficulty.

Jasper narrowed his eyes. She was disappointed, he told himself. She just wanted to use him for her army.

"Are you okay?" she inquired, eyes full of concern that Jasper was convinced was fake.

"I'm fine, ma'am," he answered in a tone that would make ice seem like a white-hot iron. He sped out the room without another word, leaving Maria to her thoughts as he faced his own.

**Ü**

**Don't play with fire!**


	16. Chapter 15: Battles

**Hi all! I've been coming out of a very stressful couple of weeks jam packed full of panic attacks so please understand the late updates. I probably won't be able to update Friday or Saturday cuz I'll be in New York, but I'll do my bestest ;P. New chapter, reviews are welcomed! *Waves***

Jasper snarled as another newborn lunged at him. He ripped off the vampire's head and hurled it over to the other side of the field.

The battle had been raging for hours already, and neither side had the advantage. The battle had begun when another newborn army, led by a vampire by the name of Smith, had heard of Maria's growing army and had attacked in the dead of night.

Now, the sun was at it's highest peak and there were battling vampires left and right. Jasper had shut down his emotions by now and had numbed out all the pain. Instead, he just killed, mindless, saving regret for later. Ripping off heads one by one as they charged at him.

Hands free, he looked around the field for his next victim. He spotted a weak looking young boy standing alone on the field. _An easy kill, _he thought.

He appeared behind the boy and wrapped his hands around the newborns' head, but the newborn surprised him with a strength he had never expected. The newborn clawed at him and sent him flying a few feet.

The sun temporarily blinded Jasper as the boy jumped on him and bit into his shoulder, trying to detach his arm.

Jasper grit his teeth and tried his best not to scream as he bucked and knocked the smaller newborn off of his chest. The newborn got to his feet at lightning speed and was by Jasper's side before the latter could blink.

He jumped on Jasper's back and managed to succeed in detaching the vampire captain's arm from his body.

This time, Jasper didn't try to stop the howls of pain that he made. Hurrying to kill the captain, the newborn wrapped it's small, thin arms around the honey blond and began to try and wrestle his head off.

Jasper snarled and kicked, but the newborn didn't budge. He was so strong. He sent waves of alarm surging through the battlefield, just what he needed at the moment. Just when Jasper's vision began to blur and he thought it was the end, Lucy slammed into the newborn and tore it's arms off in one clean blow. Of course, the element of surprise always worked for her.

Without looking to him, she moved on to her next victim. Jasper stared down at the squirming newborn at his feet.

The newborn was just a boy when he was changed. He had wavy, short, brown hair and a strong jawline. He was scrawny and thin, but he was immensely strong. The newborn's green eyes were flecked with gold as they glared up at Jasper as said vampire placed his booted foot on the newborn's chest.

Looking around, Jasper could see the battle ending. Maria's forces were winning, thanks to the sudden addition of Lucy and Nettie's fighting strength. They were passionately ripping every enemy apart. The battle was won

As soon as the last newborn's scattered, Jasper returned his attention to his soon to be victim. A million thoughts and emotions were running through his head at that second, but one thought rang loud and clear. In a snake like manner, a crafty voice slid it's way through Jasper's mind and through the jumble of thoughts.

_He's a monster. Same as you. The only difference between us is that you're going to live and suffer, and he's going to die and suffer in our hell. You have a place in Maria's coven, this one is finished._

Jasper smirked inwardly, though he was not feeling humored in the slightest. _Looks like even monsters have devils and angels. Well, devils at least. _

Tuning out his emotions, he made his decision and ignoring the pain and fear in the newborn's mind masked by hatred, Jasper stooped down, and with his one remaining arm, he tore the newborn's head from his shoulders and set to work on burning it's remains. Meanwhile, his mind was trying to ignore the scars he had obtained. Not just on his body, but in his mind.

**Ü**

**NJOY life**

**Author's note* Lately, I've been running out of ideas for the "Ü...," (which is something I made up, don't copy :() Anyway, it would be nice if y'all could give some suggestions for the "Ü..."**

**;) Tanks!**


	17. Chapter 16: Surveying the damage

**Hi all! It's me again...heh anyway, I saw Divergent yesterday and it was really good, if you're in America i recommend you go see it even if you haven't read the book. Anyway, back to Twilight. Yeah, I love you guys, reviewers, followers, everyone! Here's the next chapter, NJOY!**

**Note: I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does. **

Maria narrowed her eyes as Jasper approached, finished cleaning up after the battle.

"Are they dead?" she asked despite already knowing the answer to her question.

Jasper gave a nod and was about to tell her all the details of their 'victory', but she held up a hand, silencing him.

Offering her arm, she said, "Let us go and see for ourselves,"

Taking her arm, the two of them walked the smoking field, charred with the burning remains of newborn vampires, both Maria's and Smith's.

"They had at least twenty six newborns," Jasper explained. Maria smiled. "We _had _seventeen," he stopped walking and turned to face Maria.

Maria continued walking despite his glare. "How many are left?" she asked with an amused look on her face.

"Three," Jasper all but growled at his mother. Unfazed she smiled once more.

"We can replace the casualties," she said without missing a beat.

"They have feelings," he snarled at her, clenching his fists. "They might be dead, but they sure as hell had feelings," his voice lowered to a rather dangerous tone.

Maria frowned for the first time. "I know they have feelings, but I thought you got it by now, angel,"

"Get what?" He snapped as Maria's empty smile returned.

"Get that I don't care. Yes, they have feelings, but _I don't care. _They are my soldiers and yours to lead. You shouldn't care either," she replied. With that she breezed past a shell shocked Jasper to survey the land around them.

"You –," Jasper sputtered, spinning to face Maria. His eyebrows were knitted together in his devastation caused by her words. He had never known his mother to be unfeeling. Greedy, yes, deceptive, yes, but unfeeling? She wasn't unfeeling; she had raised him, hadn't she?

"What Jasper?" she exclaimed, raising her voice for the first time. All traces of amusement were gone from her face. "I don't know if you've noticed but we're leading an army with the intent to win in war! We don't have time for emotions and feelings! We can worry about those later, but look around you! You said so yourself, fourteen newborns, dead. We can't afford these kinds of losses anymore! Hurry and wake up, Jasper because I'm tired of playing it nice to get you to understand! And if you don't get with it soon, you'll be left behind, dead or alive! " She ranted in her frustration.

Jasper clenched his fists and looked the ground. There was nothing he could say to that. He knew she was right. They couldn't afford to loose any more newborns. They had been attacked, for God's sake. He had been a fool to think they could make everyone happy. It was war. There was nothing but death, fighting, and more battle. It was death or victory over your opponents' dead bodies.

"It's like you said, Jasper. We're monsters. We are, and we will have to be for the rest of our life so might as well accept it and be the monster we are," Maria said softly, her last word, before she disappeared from the field.

Jasper bit his lip to keep it from trembling. If he could cry, he knew he would be. Even as he trembled, his anger and self-loath grew. There was truly no time for his petty emotions. If he didn't get himself together, he would end up as one of the smothering vampire bodies in the tar smelling piles of death.

He looked over to a smaller pile and recognized Michael and Mary's bodies. Two newborns he had felt loyalty and passion constantly radiating from, but now, nothing. They would never feel again. And he would have to accept that. He was a monster, and it was past time to start acting like one.

**Ü**

**Be the Awesome person you are**


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